Parts of various discord chatlogs but mostly me thinking about Gordon exploring gender and being a shapeshifter.

People involved: Prinx (me)

I was considering perhaps a Side story to the alien tf story, where 27 year old Gordon Freeman has gender thoughts over being a shapeshifter now.

And also some sex.

Like, trans characters who aren't shapeshifters are great. But sometimes a person has fantasies (a person is me). Gordon there thinking like "I could literally do anything, do I want to stick with what I started out with?" Benrey is unhelpful with figuring this out because his attitude is mostly shrugging and gender: gay

Gender: gaymer

Orientation: gaymer

Gordon gender stuff re: getting eaten out

He's probably a lot more comfortable with his cunt being played with (and even having one) while he's in alien form because he's a whole weird noodle it doesn't mean anything. Whereas he gets nervous and excited and anxious about exploring that idea or even doing anything about it while in human form because he's like "if I'm into this does it mean I've got gender stuff, I thought I was a cis guy my whole LIFE" and also a little bad because of course you can be a guy if you have a cunt (like he doesn't think trans guys aren't men) but for him personally he's having Thoughts about his gender

Basically I am trans and I think it would be interesting if Gordon realised very belatedly that he's none gender with left dude

Benrey meanwhile is not helpful because his sex is Yes and his gender is Gay (the noodles have one sex and their gender is whatever, and they're all pretty gay)

Gordon going to Tommy for gender chats (I usually write Tommy as a trans guy in my fics.)

Gordon getting big gender euphoria over having a cunt tho

Once he's over the panic about being possibly genderweird

Also Benrey eats him out RIDICULOUSLY WELL

Like Gordon always had gender stuff lurking in the background but didn't acknowledge it but oh shit it's super easy to do stuff about it now because he's literally a shapeshifter

(Is this a lil wish fulfilment for me with gender stuff and shapeshifting and gender euphoria? Absolutely YES)

Thinking about... Contagious post epilogue. Thinking about Gordon discovering he has the genders. Thinking about Gordon experimenting with stuff including shapeshifting to have a cunt. Maybe being a little worried Benrey won't be into it although Gordon likes/is happy about it. Benrey reassuring him and also being like "yooooo can I eat you out". Gordon gets ate out so well he temporarily forgets how to speak.

Me: makes Gordon non-binary and wanting to have the same kind of stuff as me

Me: acquires some gender euphoria

And maybe experimenting with pronouns too

Benrey saying "so do you want me to stop callin' you dude and bro and stuff, or...?" But for this fic I think Gordon would be okay with those as ways to refer to him.

None gender with left guy.

Extremely vibing with the idea of the fic with the gender stuff having Gordon deciding to try out they/them pronouns and liking it, and then the narration switching to they/them pronouns for Gordon from then on

If I write that, then I would keep the they/them pronouns for Gordon when writing the heat fic as well (this refers to a fic idea I have been discussing about Gordon going into heat because that's what his species now does.)

I think it would be nice for Gordon to have done the gender exploration and experimenting with shapeshifting their body before the heat thing. And probably switching sometimes whether they have a cock or cunt, or trying out the combination that Benrey's species has usually.

Knowing what they like and makes them happy and being more confident about that, would give a better feeling to the "waking up as Benrey's species with the default kind of junk that goes with it once the heat kicks in" idea

Ahaha, and maybe before that at some point, Gordon trying out what it's like to have a tentacle cock, and Benrey showing them the ropes while Gordon is kind of overwhelmed

"You like that, big guy?" Benrey says, twisting Gordon's new... appendage... around his fingers. Gordon nods frantically.

"Yeah, you do." Benrey strokes up and down the sinuous length of Gordon's cock, pressing his fingers in enough to make Gordon gasp. They're still having a little trouble grasping that what Benrey is holding is part of them, but the feeling of being touched there doesn't lie.

"Don't stop, Benny," they say between heavy breaths.

That was a little drabble kind of a thing while I am thinking very intensely about nb Gordon with shapeshifting alien genitalia and exploring how that feels, with Benrey's help

Gordon with a slit and a tentacle cock, Benrey jerking them off and fingering them at the same time until Gordon's thoughts are gone completely.

They're a blissed out mess. Pulling Benrey in for a kiss while Benrey keeps touching them.

Gordon on a seventh orgasm or something, loved up and still horny, giving Benrey heart eyes. Their boyfriend is making them feel really good.

Anyway trans people writing genital tf content hits differently

It's about the gender and body euphoria