A well-intentioned group of adventurers in a fantasy world decide that an assassin's skill with poisons would be better reapplied as a friendly herbalist who makes healing potions. It's okay to use mind control magic if it's for good purposes, right?
(this is part 2, part 1 is here)
CW: brainwashing/mind control, mental conditioning, dubcon due to said mental conditioning, internal conflict, humiliation/embarrassment
(Prinx) — 24/04/2024 21:37
Mind control that becomes More Than Mind Control that results in internal conflict and a character trying to reconcile who they were with who they are is good fun
(Prinx) — 24/04/2024 21:46
I like the group growing fond of the personality Fern shows more after they're certain Having A Personality won't result in being slapped with a mind control spell
Snarky, haughty, possessive in some ways, caring but a bit cranky about it, embarrassed by but craving vulnerability, critically weak to affection
Kitty — 24/04/2024 21:51
I love all of these things
(Prinx) — 24/04/2024 21:51
It takes a lot of internal struggling for them to get to a place where they feel like they have a stable identity. They haven't forgotten what happened, but... They're happy anyway.
I think their possessive and bossy impulses are a way of dealing with any lingering resentment and feeling more in control.
[21:54]
Like a skewed 'you wouldn't let me go so now I'm keeping you, you're mine.'
Kitty — 24/04/2024 21:55
Yeee
[21:56]
"If this was for my own good, I'm going to make you prove it. Be good to me. Every hour of every day."
(Prinx) — 24/04/2024 21:57
THIS
[21:57]
exactly
[21:59]
And also "don't you dare get hurt and make me worry, if it wasn't for all of you I wouldn't even think of worrying about anyone except myself"
[22:02]
Very much 'you decided how I should be, take some responsibility for it'
Kitty — 24/04/2024 22:02
Yeah!!
[22:03]
Plugs nicely into the aspect of their pride, expecting the heroes to not just commit to what they've done, but to excel at it, even if it's to keep them like a pet
(Prinx) — 24/04/2024 22:05
Ye!! The group can't just act like what they do doesn't affect how Fern feels (in many cases 'what they do' is get hurt in dangerous situations)
[22:07]
Fern replying to something like "well you should have thought of that before you decided to brainwash me" and 60% of the group winces a little
(Prinx) — 24/04/2024 22:13
I think they get very pissed off when one of the group is gravely injured, all "who did this" and "how could you let this happen" and "I'll make whoever is responsible pay"
The rest of the adventurers refuse to tell them who did it/how it happened because they're honestly being kind of scary
[22:13]
"What, are you afraid I'll 'relapse'? Decide I like killing more than healing again?"
Kitty — 24/04/2024 22:16
I had the thought of what if when their resentment flares up and clashes with their implanted/accepted tenderness and care it feels bitter. What if it leaves a bad taste in their mouth. Like poison.
[22:16]
That feels good in my brain
(Prinx) — 24/04/2024 22:20
Sometimes it's satisfying to express that bitterness and show their teeth a little, even if they feel bad afterwards
[22:25]
If it gets to be too much for them, they get tempted to go to the cleric to ask to be made to stop thinking for a while
(Prinx) — 24/04/2024 22:27
I think the healthier thing to do would be to talk through the whole weird messy tangle of how they feel but
I don't know how long it would take to reach the resolve to do that
It's easier to ask to make the thoughts go away again
[22:29]
Gradually they try to hold back their bitter words as much as possible because the momentary satisfaction of it stops outweighing the hurt it seems to cause
[22:31]
They're a messsssss
But they're trying their best
[22:33]
(On a different note I think it would be fun if they were kinda desperate to get into the paladin's pants. Because the paladin is the more aloof one and less open towards Fern, Fern Wants their attention so bad)
[22:33]
I really should give the party members other than the lizard person things like "genders" and "pronouns" and shape them up into characters more than placeholders
(Prinx note: I did that later)
Kitty — 24/04/2024 22:38
A thing I like about Fern pursuing the paladin is that there's a lot of room for exploring their consent and agency (however much of it they have left) in the context of their brainwashing
(Prinx) — 24/04/2024 22:39
Yeehee
Kitty — 24/04/2024 22:44
Angles like "What must I do to prove to you that I'm into you and that I'm choosing this?!" and also "You can't say I can't choose this while you still test my work for poison. If I could choose to kill you, then I could choose to want you." etc.
Some fun dialogue potential there �� Fern unintentionally processing their situation
(Prinx) — 24/04/2024 22:46
Ohohohohooho nice
"If I could choose to kill you, then I could choose to want you" is such a banger line
Kitty — 24/04/2024 22:49
"You've put a lot of thought into this."
Fern sighs. "When I'm able."
(Prinx) — 24/04/2024 22:52
"And that's exactly why I can't believe that you actually desire me."
Fern, letting out a noise of frustration
You know what? The paladin can be a hot and stern woman who is at least a few years older than the main hero and cleric and tries to keep them from doing things that are Too Inadvisable
Kitty — 24/04/2024 23:14
Fully Agree ��
(Prinx) — 24/04/2024 23:23
Youngest: hero and cleric, late 20s or 30ish, friends who decided to go on adventures and help people but are sometimes a bit fuzzy on the details
Middle: the druid who is kind of sensible but gets swept along
Oldest: the paladin, she's in her 40s and sometimes fed up with the chaos
Lizard person: age undefined, probably around the hero and cleric in lizard person age equivalent
Fern is at least 30 and with their completely stressful lifestyle and lack of rest as an assassin it's incredible they didn't get a heart attack
(Prinx) — 24/04/2024 23:33
The best part about making the characters is giving them ages around your own and older
Fern getting to have and enjoy little indulgences they would have considered frivolous or a sign of weakness in their old life, ahhh
Fancy soaps with nice smells are one of the first things they decide they want
They probably make some of their own
Could sell the scented soaps as a side product to the potions they're making
(Prinx) — 24/04/2024 23:41
(I think as an assassin a lot of their money even when they got paid steep fees went towards things involved in not dying or paranoid contingency making. Using middle men to hire rival assassins to hunt each other so they're too busy to consider disposing of them. Caching weapons and equipment in places. Buying armour, clothes that look unarmoured but are secretly reinforced, rare plants for distilling poisons, and of course the expense of food they were confident about the origin of that hadn't been tampered with. Changing lodgings frequently. Exhausting, expensive, never ending.)
(Prinx) — 24/04/2024 23:58
I gotta go get ready for bed but contemplating the middle aged stern paladin woman getting drawn into the 'feeding the brainwashed prisoner' thing is amusing
If nothing else she feels she's responsible for helping maintain the health of the strange against all common sense project that is being called 'Fern' by the rest of the group
She's adamant not to get fond or attached, though
Either the attempt at forcibly reforming them through magic will fail and the assassin will betray them all, or the magic will be too severe and they won't be a thinking feeling person at the end so much as a useful puppet
Either way, it's better not to get attached
(That does not mean that she can allow them to waste away, so she still helps get Fern to eat)
She's really putting herself in the position of Only Sane Man in the group, ready for when it inevitably goes wrong somehow (or so she expects)
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 09:50
I have names for two of the group now
Lizard person - K'ssSs (Kess to people who don't speak Lizard)
Patience - the paladin who lives with the irony of being called that every day she works with these hooligans
Also I think Dayn would sound more fantasy setting appropriate than Dane
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 11:27
I think they use a bit of the money earned from their potion shop to buy one or two hidden blades without mentioning it to the group. They want to be able to defend themself and people they care about if necessary and they do have A Particular Set of Skills
I'm envisioning a plotline where the adventuring group have been trying to deal with some sort of robber gang and one of them gets hurt to an extent that Fern wants to look after that person overnight
One of the gang comes to try and finish the job and Fern, having expected this, emerges from a shadowy corner of the room and silently steps up behind the would-be murderer and slits their throat. Then disposes of the body without telling anyone what happened because there's no point in them getting worked up just because Fern eliminated a threat to their lives.
(Murked by the healer. Embarrassing.)
eggnog — 25/04/2024 11:36
Lmao nice
I was thinking it would be a nice little plot point where they use their old skills to defend the party later on…
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 11:36
YES
Same braincell
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 11:44
Or something where Fern has accompanied them on a job the party were hired for that requires reclaiming some defensively important fortress or some shite from a hostile force, where if the group goes in through the front they'll get hurt pretty badly (going in through the front is what they planned because the hero and cleric share one braincell and were playing tennis with it)
Fern left to look after the campsite and prepare some healing potions in advance of the party being hurt, decides to sneak off and finds a back entrance to the fortress and quietly and efficiently takes care of much of the problem.
They get back to the camp in time for the party to break through into the main keep and find the majority of the occupiers already mysteriously dead at their posts
Fern (to themself): prevention is better than a cure
They view it as preventative medicine
The adventurers were going to fight and kill those people anyway, better for the party to avoid getting badly hurt in the first place
I think they find having to kill again quite distasteful, but if it's to defend those they've come to care about...
Egg if you had imagined a particular plotline I would also love to hear it
eggnog — 25/04/2024 11:54
Oooh love that…
Idk…
Just thinking of a moment where someone tries to “free” fern to get their set of special skills…
Maybe threatening the party, maybe the cleric especially-
“If I take care of the problem then-“
“No no, allow me.”
Stalking forward and they think fern has gone back to their own ways…
schk
And the intruder falls down dead.
“There. I took care of the problem. You.”
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 11:57
Hoohoohoo
Someone having recognised them and thinking that such a big change could only be the result of mind magic
(they're not wrong)
But expecting if they free them from it, that they would earn Fern's loyalty and services (very very wrong)
Probably even someone they did jobs for in the past so Fern Knows (outside of simply threatening the group/the cleric) that the person is a scumbag
Afterwards: "I don't need all of you looking at me like that. I should think I've proven my loyalty beyond all doubt, no? If I really wanted to go back to my old life, that was the perfect opportunity. I didn't want it."
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 12:04
(I think they would be upset about members of the party looking at them like they're somehow a threat. That's also why they never mentioned any of the previous 'incidents' like the one with the member of the robber gang.)
eggnog — 25/04/2024 12:18
Iuuagh yeah
“… why does this bother me.”
But… oooagh. Getting protective of 'their' party
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 12:44
YEAH
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 13:08
I think Kess (the lizard person) is probably the most relaxed about Fern making use of their old skills because ze has a less than glamourous past too
I'm imagining ze fled their homeland because it's a dictatorship (the reason is I love shitty puns, the ruler there is the Tyrant Lizard King) so ze's more familiar with doing dodgy stuff to survive and with wanting to make a change
eggnog — 25/04/2024 13:10
HAH
Tyrant lizard king hxhdhddh
But, yeah, more chill
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 13:11
Not me shipping my own characters
Fern and Kess are CUTE
I think it's easier for Fern to show vulnerability and accept affection from a non-human because the social norms don't feel like they apply as much
eggnog — 25/04/2024 13:14
Yeah!
I imagine Ze’s social standards are a quite a bit different from human ones
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 17:10
Brief character thoughts on the cleric and party leader:
The cleric is a trainee priest who found the training Boring enough to be talked into running away in search of adventure with his childhood friend, a scrappy but hard-working young woman
When separate the cleric is almost sensible but in combination they've got chaotic good gremlin energy
The motivation behind these choices is it would be fun and hot
Maybe the hero is trans and that was additional motivation to go seek adventure. Easier to reinvent herself along the way.
I am gonna keep calling her the hero until I pick out a name because hero sounds cooler than heroine
Along the way the hero and cleric have picked up more party members who feel obliged to provide a counterweight to the chaotic energy
I think the paladin is lawful good, the druid is neutral good, and Kess is neutral good. Probably
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 17:25
Hero and cleric sandwich with Fern in the middle, both of them patting and stroking and praising them until Fern is like a puddle of goo
Doesn't have to be during sex
(though it would also happen that way during sex)
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 17:35
During the point in the story where the party have decided Fern isn't likely to try to kill them anymore and has Changed Their Ways - maybe after Fern decides to promise that? It depends how honestly they meant the promise but after seeing how happy everyone is to hear it, they really wouldn't feel able to try and harm the group anyway - I think the hero decides the right thing to do is to tell Fern that they don't have to stay where they are or have more to do with the party unless they want to.
And Fern is surprised, thinks about it quietly for a few minutes, and says "I think I want to stay."
The bright smile and hug they get from the hero in return makes them fall in love with her just a little. It's hard to resent her for having made decisions over their life when she's so enthusiastic and well-meaning and so strongly believes in their ability to be good for some baffling reason.
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 20:20
Slightly different topic but I think each time the mind control spell is recast on Fern they're especially out of it for a while (whole blank look silly smile will do whatever they're told) and then act a bit more normal-ish. Still under control and extra relaxed and happy, but not weird and constantly smiling.
That's how it's possible for Fern to pretend to still be controlled after it wears off, they have to simply act reasonably friendly and helpful. Not go around pretending to be completely bamboozled lmao.
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 20:28
I want to rewind to the first time Fern has the mind control magic wear off a little
It's probably one of those short periods in the middle of the night
They're SOOOO angry but also.... Very tired... And very comfortable.
I think their body calls in a debt from their terrible lifestyle previously once they've built a routine of regular rest while under mind control. Rest is non-negotiable now they're getting some.
They near physically Cannot get out of bed in the middle of the night unless it's for using the bathroom.
Otherwise they wake briefly and have some moments of lucidity before passing the fuck out again.
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 20:36
All their contract killer lifestyle assassin grindset habits and routines go down the drain more quickly than they might expect.
Not to mention nobody establishes new habits and lifestyle rhythms as consistently as someone literally brainwashed into doing it.
(Egg: angry homer in bed from the Simpsons)
Fuming
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 20:37
FUMING
You'd think they couldn't fall asleep while that angry
But they're even more sleepy than they're angry
Kitty — 25/04/2024 20:53
I really like that. Going from treating their body as one of the many necessary tools for keeping them alive and ahead to actually taking care of their body
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 21:29
Later on they're also kind of pissed off at how Not shitty they feel physically
Mysterious headache gone, the sense of general wellbeing and comfort they feel while simply existing is completely foreign to them and very very tempting
Like their body is saying: look how much better it is to live this way, you need to stay like this
eggnog — 25/04/2024 21:43
Lmao. “Brainwashing me is one thing. Forcing me to partake in self care is a step too far.”
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 21:48
actual wheezing
As a cold blooded assassin they need to believe they're oblivious to trivial things like "their own bodily comfort"
But they're really not
While I had a little nap I imagined some scenes from their story and
I think they would mentally compartmentalise themself from "Fern" at the start
Then while pretending to still be under mind control get kind of jealous that people are so nice to Fern...
Like...
Mo mhuirnín (my dear)
They're literally You if you Want them to be
Level of ridiculousness: can only be expressed by sarcastically using Irish terms of affection
Thinking "this isn't me, not really" while greeting and chatting to some friendly regulars
But it could be if they decide that's what they want
eggnog — 25/04/2024 21:58
YEAh.
Like. You have the chance for a fresh start, blank slate (literally on the case of you lmao) you could just… go for it, if you wanted to
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 21:59
They can just go for it!!!
But I love internal conflict too much so they have to agonise over everything endlessly
And there's the humiliation (to them) of wanting to be some harmless, vulnerable shopkeeper instead of a killer nobody would dare mess with
It goes against their whole worldview
Delicious, impeccable flavour ����
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 22:20
I am imagining later at some point Fern is talking about how they're not a good person, they're only pretending to be one, it wasn't too long ago they were trying to hurt the adventurers
One of the group saying like "but you never thought of poisoning one of the customers to your potion shop, did you? It was only because you were angry at us"
They're like
"why the hell would I harm my customers, it wouldn't benefit me in any way"
"and if someone paid you would you poison a potion meant for one of your customers"
"no?? They trust me to help them"
The hero giving Fern the most insufferably smug look like AHA, I GOT YOU THERE
"that's simply not being an asshole, that doesn't mean I'm good"
"disagree, I know you want to be good, and you've been doing good, so that means you're a good person"
eggnog — 25/04/2024 22:32
Hchfhfh
They’re so mad about it
“Just for that I’m going to poison on of your healing potions and I won’t tell you which one”
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 22:44
"You won't, though"
(they won't and they're mad about it too)
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 22:55
The hero and the cleric deciding to double team them with praise some day and getting to watch Fern's face go incredibly red
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 23:15
On one fateful day
"When you're angry you sometimes talk about being kept like a pet but we've never actually treated you like that. Is that something you think about...?"
Fern in a small, choked voice, "no" (they have)
I don't think they really get into the specifics, it's more the idea of being something small and soft and powerless and being owned and looked after
Ways they process losing their autonomy for a while: getting horny about it?
eggnog — 25/04/2024 23:32
Oooahhjh… yeah..
“… can you. Use the spell for… other things?”
“Like what?” (Knows exactly what they mean but wants to make them say it.)
(Prinx) — 25/04/2024 23:34
I didn't consider them asking to be a bit mind controlled during sex somehow but That Too
eggnog — 25/04/2024 23:36
The uh, “lighter” form of the spell that quiets their mind and makes them feel… lighter
(Prinx) — 26/04/2024 00:00
Ooooh
Fun :3c
Kitty — 26/04/2024 01:02
A thought: We've established that the heroes have some kind of way to detect poison
But I bet that way doesn't detect, like, pepper
So a valid option for an angy Fern would be petty little pranks
eggnog — 26/04/2024 01:03
);6(6(7 yes
(Prinx) — 26/04/2024 08:19
HRHRHHSKFV
Spicy healing potion
Perfekt
Mouth: burning
Wounds: healing
The peppery potion is revenge for being over-reliant on healing potions and taking too many risks
When the group goes to complain they get a whole rant dropped on them instead
(Prinx) — 26/04/2024 08:43
"Healing potions are not magic! I cannot do magic. I extract and mix herbs and reagents that promote healing at an accelerated rate.
That means your body needs to be capable of healing you for the potion to work. It can't bring you back from the dead! So even if you seem to think they can work miracles, that doesn't mean you can take STUPID BLOODY RISKS."
What Fern leaves out is that some of the ingredients they use are at least a little bit magical and that's why it works so well
But shhhhh that would ruin their point
(Prinx) — 26/04/2024 08:53
The prank and rant were triggered by the hero falling off a mountain ledge and narrowly avoiding cracking her skull open or plummeting to her untimely death
When the group got back to their home city/base and to Fern, the hero had some bones that had been set and healed not quite right. �� Due to the emergency triage being done without healing spells.
Like I imagine that the cleric and druid both have some capabilities in healing magic (even if the druid isn't specialised in it) but it often happens that they run out of magical energy and the whole group relies on the healing potions. It drives Fern around the bend.
I think healing spells will put bones and stuff back into place because they essentially revert the body back to the template of what it's like before the injury. Whereas healing potions greatly speed up and boost the body's healing ability so it is possible for an injury to heal wrong if it's not dealt with correctly.
All of this prompts Fern to branch out from fantasy chemistry into also learning mundane medical and surgical knowledge because they have to put up with four idiots (the paladin usually doesn't count) who will roll into Fern's home expecting to have everything that's wrong with them fixed.
(Prinx) — 26/04/2024 09:02
Sometimes they have to say "I can't treat this, get your asses to the nearest temple of healing and make a donation so the clerics there will sort it out."
But I think healing spells can't fix illnesses because of how they work (or maybe in the early stages yes, but later on a spell will revert the body to an earlier stage of the illness so it's possible it will just progress to a later stage again)
Whereas healing potions can be mixed to target particular ailments, so they're essentially medicine
Not that Fern admits it to the group but they often sell potions at cost price to their customers especially the less well off, and have a system for charging people who can afford it a bit more so they can afford to give away some to people who can't pay anything
They're very popular in their community even if they're not as overly nice and cheerful as they used to be (you know, when they were being mind controlled into it)
eggnog — 26/04/2024 09:11
lol yeah… people might notice the change but they probably don’t mention it or try to pry
(Prinx) — 26/04/2024 09:16
Nobody really knows what their deal is but when they seem to get through their brooding period (the long one where they're trying to figure out who they are and what they want), it's a relief to see the herbalist/potion seller smiling more again
I am thinking that local old ladies bring them little cakes and treats as thanks and used to be disappointed when Fern refused them (you know, because lingering poisoner instincts not to risk food made by anyone else)
Eventually they resolved to simply keep antidotes to the most common poisons close by and to try the baked goods anyway
They figure if they were poisoned by a customer they would recognise the symptoms better than anyone else
That level of caution is not actually necessary (nobody is trying to poison them) but it makes them feel better
(Prinx) — 26/04/2024 10:32
About the hero being trans and part of the motivation for her going away in search of adventure being because it would be easier to transition, I don't think there's transphobia in this setting, it's more that she didn't want to deal with the awkwardness of telling everyone
Literally her plan when she visits her hometown again is to go "hi it's (old name)! A magical trap in a dungeon turned me into a girl but I decided I liked it, so I am going by (name) now!"
Actually she's taking fantasy hrt
The cleric will corroborate her story gjfhh
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 26/04/2024 10:42
I still need names for the hero, the cleric, and the druid
I at least decided that the druid is a somewhat scrungly asexual woman who wildshapes into an absolutely massive boar
She uses her wildshape form to hunt for truffles for fun
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 26/04/2024 10:49
The group is three women (the hero, the druid, the paladin), one guy (the cleric) and one "I don't care how human social genders work beyond not calling humans the wrong thing and upsetting them" lizard person ranger, plus later addition of non-binary herbalist
Kitty — 26/04/2024 13:49
The happy ending, Fern not knowing if the love and care they feel for the party is "real" or a product of the brainwashing but them being happy with it anyway, is way hot, and I keep thinking about it
I'm also having a lot of fun thinking about, like, once Fern is a bit more conscious, the way their past patterns and their current persona could clash in interesting ways
Kitty — 26/04/2024 13:58
Like the "Fern uses their old skills to aid the party" idea. What might it be like to try and intentionally pick up all that old knowledge and killing intent for the first time after their whole identity was transformed into that of a healer?
Kitty — 26/04/2024 14:09
Fern, after multiple attempts to prepare their escape were undone by their own self after sinking back under, coming to awareness in their lab and immediately bolting out the door. Preparation be damned, they need to get out, they can rebuild later, once they're themself again.
They run for what feels like forever, quickly running out of breath, having grown soft in their sedentary life. They stumble through the countryside until they come to a small house. It's one of their patients - the kindly old lady who lives on the outskirts of the village. She calls out to them. They've been discovered. Once the hero finds their lab empty and gives chase, it's only a matter of time before this old woman points the party in the direction they ran. They have to do something.
They tell her they were worried about her arthritis and came to check on her. She invites them in for tea.
The party finds them eventually. Weeding her garden and keeping her company.
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 26/04/2024 14:58
Oh I LOVE that
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 26/04/2024 15:13
I feel like it's even easier for them to inhabit the healer persona with patients/customers than with the party, in a way
Because their customers haven't done anything to them so they don't have any of the resentment that comes up with the party, don't know they were ever anything else than what they show themself to be, and I don't think Fern ever hated people back when they used to be an assassin, they simply were raised/conditioned to not care
Like they wouldn't have helped people in their past life, but they also wouldn't have harmed someone who they weren't paid to or who wasn't a threat to them (that said their threat evaluation was over-broad)
I am so pleased to have infected you with Fern story Brainrot
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 26/04/2024 15:24
I wonder at what point concern for locals they know depend on their help/the treatments they've created becomes a large part of why they feel they can't leave
Earlier than they would admit to themself for sure
Kitty — 26/04/2024 20:47
But yeah Fern certainly activates my neurons
They might not be overtly engaging in petplay (at first, at least) but finding a relatively helpless creature, bringing it home with you, giving it a new name, taking care of its needs, and having it live by your rules is Very Pet
Kitty — 26/04/2024 21:08
The persona of the poisoner feeling like a poison still feels Very Good to my brain
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 26/04/2024 22:08
Ooohoho here's a thought:
At first they think of the healer/"Fern" as being a poison they've been forcefed, and later their perspective switches to imagining the assassin as a lingering poison they can't entirely flush from their system
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 26/04/2024 22:16
I was having a cosy nap and thinking that while they have a certain amount of submissive desires that can easily be engaged, they're also switchy sometimes
More with some of the party than others
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 26/04/2024 22:46
Like
Fern with the hero + cleric: Fern gets dommed to oblivion by two very enthusiastic people, praise kink features highly, having light marks and bites left on them, some overstim and pleasure milking, light pet play (pet names, stroking, Fern not being allowed to speak other than wordless noises unless it's a safeword)
Fern with the hero: either way, can sometimes involved a play fight for dominance with the loser submitting (the loser is usually Fern unless the fight is thrown)
Fern with the cleric: can be either way, when acting more dominant they bite him, pull hair, leave marks, get overtly possessive, bondage might be involved (when either domming or subbing), it's a safe way to work out their frustrations on him and the cleric enjoys it once he's certain Fern doesn't still want to kill him sometimes, when Fern subs they sometimes request a very light use of the mind magic
Fern with the paladin: if/when Fern can convince Patience to get sexually involved with them, anything beyond vanilla kissing and touching is going to involve Fern submitting and showing how good and obedient they can be, sometimes bondage, service submissive and higher protocol type activities, face sitting, Patience getting eaten out, Fern getting pleasured and praised as a reward
Fern with Kess: I feel like they generally don't go for d/s so often with Kess, a lot of various types of vanilla sex and sensual exploration, also Kess has a hemipenis or large hemiclitoris
(I might go with a hemipenis so that I can think about Kess filling them with a mating plug sometime and Fern walking funny and trying not to get flustered for days afterwards)
Fern with the druid: she doesn't do sex but she'll pet their hair, and participate in whole group scenes insofar as that plus praising them and calling them pet names. They hang out and collect plants together and probably do fantasy weed. She doesn't mind other people doing stuff in her presence but doesn't feel any urge to have sex with anyone.
Fern with the cleric and Kess:
The cleric getting fucked and cummed in by both of them and then plugged with their cum in his ass
This is wildly satisfying to Fern's possessive streak
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 26/04/2024 23:00
I didn't even mention food or hand feeding because it was so obvious to me
That's like, a whole group + Fern thing
Most of the time it's just like, this is how meals are. Fern gets fed. Sometimes it's explicitly about Being Watched while submitting and getting taken care of, sitting on someone's lap and petted and praised and fed
I don't think it typically turns into sex after but they get such a mental buzz from it, they're floaty for the whole rest of the day so it's only when they don't need to do anything involving Thinking afterwards.
Various other group scenes tend to involve Fern going deeply into submission (even just sex with one of the others where the rest can see or are watching makes them pleasantly squirmy and horny and embarrassed in a way that makes them want to submit)
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 09:14
Thinking more about Fern's relationships with the other party members, the more they get over their resentment towards the cleric especially the more they feel and express a weird, intense, and possessive affection towards him.
Like the possessive sort of affection they have towards the whole group but moreso.
(Especially because portraying them as lightly off-kilter or occasionally being a bit strange in certain ways is in keeping with their story involving mind control used to reshape who they are. They had experimental magical personality surgery done on them pretty much.)
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 09:23
The weird possessiveness and protectiveness isn't something that being mind controlled added to their personality, it's a response to having an insecure attachment style, having things they want and could lose, and wanting to feel safe and secure
It's an element of their personality from who they were before carried over, part of the raw material of who they are that persists despite being reworked
(not that they had anyone they were close to as an assassin but if they had, those traits would have come to the fore even more strongly and unhealthily)
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 09:38
Plus I think it's hot if they confess to the cleric that they're glad he never finished his training as a priest because they don't want him to lead a congregation in worshipping his goddess, they want him to be devoted to them
(and that they won't try to steal the cleric from his goddess so long as she doesn't try to take him away from them)
Telling him even if it wasn't his goal and intent, using mind magic to change who they were created a connection between them, that he turned them into a person who wanted to belong to him, and they want him to belong to them in turn
It's a Little Bit overwhelming but I think the cleric gets into it once he knows Fern doesn't have a problem with his connections with the rest of the group, it's more things that might take him or the others away from them
eggnog — 27/04/2024 09:39
Hell yes
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 09:42
They like to leave marks on him, hickeys and love bites and stuff. Casual companionable touches that press against where they know they've left a mark under his clothes. Every time wordlessly saying mine, mine, mine.
They have strong feelings towards him, but eventually it turns from resenting and hating him sometimes despite wanting closeness to several different kinds of desire
(I think it also feels good and is a relief to be able to purge the hate and embrace being grateful to have become who they are now. Warmth towards the people responsible. Even if it was strange and confusing and painful to go through, they're Still glad.)
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 09:50
(which is messed up in its own way but that's mind control for you)
One day when they ask the cleric to be put back under because they can't deal with their inner conflict, the cleric gently cups their face and strokes their cheek with one thumb and Fern realises that they want to kiss him before that thought gets smoothed away with the rest
Afterwards they remember, though, responding to that tenderness
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 10:19
Thinking about the element of Fern in some small way 'corrupting' the party members unintentionally in turn, the cleric was originally thinking of finishing his training someday and working as a priest, but with Fern holding him, kissing and touching and sucking on his skin, in between saying that kind of thing, it's easy to say to himself that he'll put off stopping his adventures and going back to finish his training for a while longer... And another while. And another. Etc
(picrew of the cleric)
Imagine finding out this mutton chops'd cat face fuck is responsible for mind controlling you
You'd want to kill him too
I think his goddess is a goddess of positive change so butterflies are their symbols, the sacred colour is lighter green, or sunrise or sunset shades, and obviously Spring is the most important time of year for followers
I can't call him Sal, it would distract me, sorry Egg
eggnog — 27/04/2024 11:26
Valid lmao
Other options could be something “spring”y or something
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 11:27
I think Art, short for Artan
"Derived from Albanian artë meaning "golden" " apparently
eggnog — 27/04/2024 11:27
Chrys?
oohArt is nice
Chrys also stems from a word meaning golden so hxdhdhd same wavelength
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 11:31
Art it is
Artan sounds fantasyish too so good
Two to go
What if the hero was called Chrys
Besties, friends with benefits, soul mates, combined force of chaos, names that mean the Same Thing
eggnog — 27/04/2024 11:33
Yesss
Perfect
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 11:33
Okay yes
The hero is now Chrys
Still need a name for the druid and that's It
Naming Done
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 12:23
Druid I am thinking Viridis (means green), Vicia (Latin name for vetch), or Velutina (meaning velvety)
By the way, I imagine in lizard person speech, K'ssSs means "swift", "speedy", that kind of thing
Art has a habit of saying things relating to the symbol of his goddess are a good omen/sign they're on the right track
When he and Chrys meet Kess and consider having zem in the group, he is like "ze has green scales, it's a good omen"
When they get to know Viridis he says her name means green, it's a good omen
Other than intending for Fern to work with plants and not being very inventive on the spot, Art suggests Fern as a name because ferns are green (well, most plants are but you see the logic)
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 12:37
It's a slightly annoying habit but forgivable because the signs and the precepts of his goddess are kind of vague, so it's reassuring for him to think it's subtly indicating that they're on the right track/are following the path of Positive Change
Kitty — 27/04/2024 22:03 (referring back to the how Fern gets with different party members)
I love the dynamics ���� also party members casually having sex with Fern around the rest of the party is wildly hot
I like your thoughts on the dynamic between Fern and Art bc I've been rotating the thought in my head of Art, in a moment of vulnerability, asking Fern "Do you think you'll ever be able to forgive them?"
Referring to the rest of the party bc they suggested the mind control, but Art was the one who cast it, so he doesn't even dare assume they'll ever forgive him.
Kitty — 27/04/2024 22:13
Which makes me think more about Fern's emotional agency in the face of the brainwashing because, like, can Fern see it in that light? Would they get angry at him for asking because the question assumes they have a choice?
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 23:04
Oooohh
I am thinking about this, thinking many thoughts
Kitty — 27/04/2024 23:05
Right??
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 23:05
Honestly I am trying to sort out an answer because it's a good question
Kitty — 27/04/2024 23:06
It's fun to think about
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 23:06
I think their response would explicitly be to say "Do I have a choice?"
Like you mentioned
Kitty — 27/04/2024 23:06
Yeeee That's a good path definitely
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 23:19
Rotating this slowly
I think Fern forgiving the group implies they'd allow the others to feel they've been absolved
Which I don't think they want to do
For them moving forward with being Fern means that they deal with and do their best to abandon resentment but they want the group to be aware that they've found it extremely difficult at times
So I think they accept what the group did but don't forgive them because that feels like something to make the others feel better, not for Fern themself
And on another level they're grateful
But the question assumes that they have control over those feelings and decisions which is something they're not sure of - since they were deeply controlled and conditioned for such a long time
Like even feeling grateful - they know objectively that's weird? They were deprived of the ability to make decisions, they don't like that, but they like where they are now
So they do feel warmth towards the group
Maybe it's a situation where they suspect they should feel more bitter more often but that's not what they actually feel
So figuring out what's 'real' to them is super complicated
And that's also why they wouldn't like to be asked if they can forgive the group
Somniate — 27/04/2024 23:26
God it would be super fuckin complicated and messy
For everyone
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 23:32
Viridis and Art get to hear about Fern's thoughts and feelings on the matter (after they've stopped with murder attempts) more than anyone else
I think it's probably a bit unfair of Fern but they don't make Kess address the topic as much (aside from when they make a barbed comment to everyone) because they like Kess and ze was more willing to stop treating them with suspicion
Viridis hears about it because they go picking plants together and Fern reflects aloud on their mess of a life
Art obviously hears about it because Fern is blunt with him more or less all the time once they are allowed to be a person and not just brainwashed into doing what the others think they should
One last bit on this thought - for Fern once they decide that they want to be Fern and won't/can't go back to be the person they were before, they see the actual choice as either stay (and try to work through their feelings) or go and try to start afresh
They choose to stay because as weird as everything is, it's the first time they've really felt belonging with other people and it would be so hard to find that again, even with the complication of working out what parts of their thoughts or feelings are 'real' or if there's even any point making a distinction
Somniate — 27/04/2024 23:40
Awww
Speaking of Viridis
Just an awkward but quiet morning where Fern is awake before the others and enjoying a coffee or something, and the druid comes out to sit with them. And Fern is just sitting stiffly trying to figure out what is going on, is this a 'will Fern make a murder attempt when one party member is alone' or something
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 23:43
wheezing they're waiting for the other shoe to drop
Somniate — 27/04/2024 23:45
Exactly!! And Viridis is just! Sitting in the same proximity!
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — 27/04/2024 23:46
Equally as nerve wracking for Fern as back in the day when they would expect their mentor to surprise attack them any time at all whenever he was awake, to test their reflexes and ability to respond to ambush
(Fern being able to accept and move forward with their current life also has much to do with them reflecting on the complete bullshit of everything since they were orphaned)
(doing something their mentor wouldn't have liked and quietly murmuring 'fuck you, old man' at the ground)
Somniate — 27/04/2024 23:55
Viridis asks "Are you okay, you are... Incredibly stiff" and Fern wants to disappear into the ground
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — Yesterday at 00:00
Them flatly replying "If I say I was trying to figure out whether you were expecting me to attack you, are you going to go wake Art up and make him cast the spell again"
I had another thought because brain go fast
I was deciding before on how Fern experiences the memories of when they were brainwashed while they're 'aware' (especially early on)
I initially thought maybe there's a dreamlike feeling but decided against it
It's got the same veracity and immediacy as any other memories, which really fucks them up when they're trying to differentiate between "Dayn" and "Fern"
Because they remember everything as if they did it, except they didn't, but it feels like it
The big difference is there's no enforced calm, happiness, obedience, and helpfulness when they're not being controlled
And when they are controlled they have all the same memories but the emotional significance isn't the same
So they'll prepare something while in full awareness and have to hope that while mind controlled they'll overlook or ignore it instead of immediately undoing whatever it was
Somniate — Yesterday at 00:01
Oooh
Kitty — Yesterday at 00:01
Fun ������
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — Yesterday at 00:02
It honestly depends on where in their timeline because it develops and changes lots, but gradually
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — Yesterday at 00:03
(also there's definitely a point including this messy fucker being jealous of their brainwashed self for getting to enjoy things in an uncomplicated manner)
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — Yesterday at 00:15
Fern's relationship with Art is the most complicated but also fun to think about
Particularly getting to the point where they essentially go "You did something to me that can't be undone but I want you anyway (maybe even more because of it)"
They're very weird about him once they feel they've gotten rid of the impulse to harm him
Between deciding to give up on revenge/doing anything to hurt the group and finally smothering the occasional impulse to Do Something Fatal to Art, they usually keep their distance
Because it's scary for them to be trying to change and have one thing that could pull them back into being someone they don't want to be anymore
And that One Thing would be failing to resist the urge to hurt the person they feel is most responsible
Somniate — Yesterday at 00:16
Oh delicious
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — Yesterday at 00:17
So at one point they go from being afraid of being forced to change into someone else, to being afraid that they'll fail at becoming who they want to be!!
Ahhhhh, during that period of time, Fern working up the resolve to approach Chrys to request that Art not be sent to fetch anything from them alone or left alone with them because they're terrified they'll do something they'd regret
Knowing that expressing this could mean losing what autonomy they have again, but losing that fight with themself would be worse
Kitty — Yesterday at 00:22
Oooooh fun :3ccc
Subversive Queermonger (Prinx) — Yesterday at 00:24
Chrys nods seriously, and Fern waits for her to think about what to do and she says she can do that and also that she believes in them
That the good in them can win.
I think once they're alone Fern genuinely sheds a few tears because god fucking damn it that's so... Unbelievably disgustingly earnest and stupidly trusting and they want Chrys to be right.
Having a larger than life heroic type of person who seems like she should have storybook illustration gilding following her around all the time express such faith in them is devastating
Okay that's enough thoughts on Fern's internal conflict era, I must sleep
Prinx note: at this point I made a dedicated channel for talk about Fern and the adventurers. I'll upload some of those conversations when I have a chance.
If you read all this you can send me questions/asks about Fern and the rest on tumblr or my retrospring if you want!